Well everyone keeps saying 2015 is gonna be different, bigger and better than 2014. I Must admit I did have my fingers and toes crossed wishing that can be true. However the reality of it isn’t that easy easy. I Know were only twelve days into the year, but getting a sense of ‘Same Sh*t, different Year.’ Everything that i hoped and prayed would be left behind in 2014 has spread its dark fingers into 2015. And i gotta admit given me the new year blues. Hope can i start on a new year, new me (ha thats a joke) if everything keeps following me.

The Festive period was on the whole a good time. Feel again that i missed out on another Christmas. Not through anything in particular, just didn’t have the festive spirit as things were getting to stressful and anxious as the big day came near. Didn’t help that i collapsed at home on 16th December, BF had to call an ambulance. So another worry to add to my lists. Had a wonderful New Years, we went down to my Parents for a week. Had a lovely time lots of quizzes, games and laughs.

Since coming back though apart from the New Years Blues, I Just have no energy. Everything is a struggle, even just standing up sometimes. But hey ho, thats life it seems.  Certainly dont know what the powers at be are thinking but they certainly getting me to jump through hoops and test me beyond my limits.

On a more positive note, hopefully 2015 I can cross off some or at least one of the things on my ‘Bucket List.’

Well i started writing this when i was really down, very tired and in a lot of pain. But now feeling more positive and hopeful. But thinking its good to post the negative thoughts. As someone may see it and know that their not the only one feeling that way, also as a reminder to me on how bad i can see things sometimes.