After getting my formal diagnosis of Autism in 2018 I was referred for ‘Life Coaching’ in order to help with my confidence and to be able to have more understanding on how i see the world and to try and make sense of how my view is different to other peoples and to gain more understanding of how people react to it.
The Life coaching will be done in 10 sessions every 2 weeks. I’ve only had my first session and The life coaching is trying to get me set up on a proper routine. I’m finding it very tough and gruelling, to be honest I’m struggling. Everything is timed and planned out the day before, from appointments to bedtime and what time to wake up, right down to set times for brushing my teeth. Other than making me more tired and stressed out i’m not seeing any benefit or real reason for it.
Having autism, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome (plus a number of other physical and mental health issues) I have always been told to do things at my own pace and when i’m ready. Trying to force myself to do things at set times is just making me depressed and when i dont complete a set task at the set time. I feel guilty and feel I’ve let not only myself down but the life coach and others to. I don’t know if i’m putting to much pressure on myself or its my autism and i’m being overwhelmed. Either way i’m struggling. Maybe its too much too soon.
Hopefully the next session will be able to tweak things and help me out about. I know the life coach said it would be hard and i’m willing to try and do it, but my body is protesting. Doesn’t help that i’m still doing Physiotherapy at the same time.
Hi xx. It is no gain without pain and will be tough at first. Remember the small steps. Even if you don’t manage to hit your timelines your life coach will hopefully help you to set less until your routines are in place.
Until that time, try hitting one or two times to start with and build up from there. Just by trying this you are achieving things and no-one is being let down. You can do this and if it takes longer, then it takes longer. You cannot run and hit every target without walking first.
You are doing your best and missing some times can happen to us all. Routines do help, but life and pain can get in the way. So look at your plan again when this happens and see if you can adjust the times – can you go to bed an hour earlier than on your plan…. will you feel better or worse for moving the times, but as long as you still do it the times can still move. The next day go back to the original times.
Your life coach will help you better to work it out. But remember it is a new routine and until you try it out, neither of you will know what works or not. Until then, list the good things about it and the bad things and why it didn’t work. You can both then think again about how things are going.
All routines are unfamiliar and difficult when new, but hopefully as you get used to them, they will be like comfort and help keep you calm in difficult times. (Big hugs)